Jazz Jennings wants to fall in love — but there’s something that’s holding her back from finding it.
On Tuesday’s all-new episode of I Am Jazz, the 18-year-old reality star has a candid discussion in the car with her mom, Jeanette Jennings, about romance and relationships, during which she reveals the real reason why she feels “stuck.”
“I want to fall in love,” Jazz shares in a PEOPLE exclusive sneak peek of the episode.
“You say that all the time,” Jeanette tells her, “but then I don’t feel like you really are open to love yet.”
From her perspective, Jazz feels “open to love.”
While the teen explains that she’s “not in a rush to fall in love,” she admits, “I still want to find love really bad. But I’m not going to just let myself go for anyone, and I want someone to stable me in life.”
In an attempt to offer advice, Jeanette tells Jazz that she needs to be willing to let people in “in order for them to be able to stable you. Your door is pretty much locked.”
During a confessional, Jeanette says she believes Jazz is “holding back” and adds, “Ultimately, I feel like she’s not ready to take that next step with somebody and be physical.”
Although Jazz’s desire is to fall in love and “do it right the first time,” Jeanette suggest that she may not want her “first spark” to be her “first love.”
“You want to try a few different flavors of ice cream before you settle on one for the rest of your life,” says Jeanette. “You need to have experience with other people to see. It took me years to figure out what a good guy was because I’d been out with some guys that were not so nice.”
Jazz, though, wants to avoid that.
Still, when Jeanette tells Jazz, “I don’t think you’re ready to put yourself out there,” the teen disagrees.
“I am ready to put myself out there if I could leave the damn house. But I’m stuck in this place where I can’t even meet anyone or do anything,” she explains. “So that’s the reason I’m not ready to put myself out there.”
But Jeanette presses further and says she’s “looking for a good reason” from her daughter after the family matriarch says that Jazz’s siblings have met significant others while living at home.
Visibly exasperated, Jazz — who at the time was awaiting her gender confirmation surgery — candidly reveals the real reason she’s holding back.
“But I f—— have a d—, mom,” exclaims Jazz — who was born male but identifies as female — sounding as though she’s on the verge of tears.
“Okay, well, there you go,” says Jeanette.
I Am Jazz airs Tuesdays (10 p.m. ET) on TLC.
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