Weddings are pretty damn expensive these days and for a lot of brides and grooms, their family often helps out with the costs.
But can you expect them to?
A 29-year-old bride is demanding her 55-year-old father shell out. There’s just one catch – he’s not actually invited to the wedding.
The disgruntled father took to Reddit to vent after his daughter’s demands rubbed him the wrong way.
He wrote: ‘I have a daughter who is getting married next year. I was an involved dad when she was young and we were close. But when she was in her teens I cheated on her mother.
‘My daughter didn’t accept the divorce well. What she didn’t and still doesn’t understand is while her mother might be the best mother in her eyes, my ex wasn’t the perfect wife.
‘I’m not saying what I did was right and I’m not trying to wiggle out of accepting responsibility for my decision to cheat. If I had a chance to do things differently I would’ve divorced her mother first.’
The dad claimed it took him ‘years of counselling’ to manage the PTSD from his ex wife’s ’emotionally abusive behaviour’.
He added: ‘I tried my best to stay in my daughter’s life but since she was old enough to decide, court couldn’t enforce visitation.
‘I paid child support and extra on top for extra curriculars. I was involved in her life as much as she would let me. Periodically I would reach out and kept the door open. We catch up once in a while.
‘Now, last catch up she tells me she’s getting married. I know of him but I’ve never been introduced to her fiancé.
‘I won’t receive an invite to her wedding. But she asked if I can contribute. This just rubs me the wrong way. I want to support her, I really do. But I’m sick of being her wallet.
‘I told her I would think about it and she said I suck as a dad if I don’t support her.
‘Am I the a**hole for not forking out for the wedding? I’m at the point where I just want to remove her from my will and leave everything to my nieces and nephews.’
Despite the dad’s past cheating antics the army of Redditors were firmly in his camp, saying he was totally justified in not wanting to pay for the wedding.
One commenter wrote: ‘She wants you to fund a wedding that you can’t attend. While you were wrong to cheat on her mom you owned your mistake. You don’t owe her that.’
Another Redditor gave the dad a stark reality check, saying: ‘Sounds like your relationship with her is already destroyed, all that’s left is that she likes access to your wallet, so she’ll try to guilt you into opening it up when she needs something.
‘Whether you contribute to her wedding or not will not change this, she’ll take it with at best a “thank you” and she’ll go back to not having you in her life (until she wants help with a down payment for a house or whatever).
‘Now, I don’t necessarily blame her for cutting you out – from her perspective, you deserve it. I do blame her for saying that you “suck as a dad if [you] don’t support her.”
‘That’s just trying to take advantage of you. It’s empty manipulation implying there’s a possibility to reconcile if you give her money (hint – there is not).’
Another agreed, writing: ‘This might be tough, but if all she sees you for is a walking ATM do you really want her in your life anyway?’
However some questioned if the daughter had explicitly said he wasn’t invited to the wedding or if that was an assumption he had made.
One user suggested a more diplomatic approach, saying: ‘I think you should try for one more conversation with your daughter and if it doesn’t result in anything that looks like it could lead to reconciliation, send her like a grand as a parting gift and quietly exit her life.’
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