Misogynistic dinosaur James Bond is into the 21st century. Besides the shaken not stirred martini, he’s shaking up the sexes. For only the second time in our hero’s 58 years of dashing and crashing comes a new voice. Daniel Craig’s hero now has a female screenwriter: Phoebe Waller-Bridge — the Brit who won a slew of awards for “Fleabag” and “Killing Eve.”
The three other writers are men. “No Time To Die” will finally be out Nov. 20. How much of the 2 hours and 43 minutes she wrote, who knows? Maybe thanks to her it’s the longest Bond ever. There must be a 007 equivalent of the saying: “A yenta is a yenta is a yenta.”
More. In terms of controversy, not one to say “Aaah, flix it,” Netflix’s new show is called “Social Distance.” Creator Hilary Weisman Graham: “Staying connected with everyone while sheltering in place, online consumes us. To lean into this constraint and embrace our reliance on technology, we made it the program’s point of view.”
What that means exactly who knows? This “quarantine-produced anthology series” premieres Oct. 15. Watch it with your techie.
Also, Sony’s hunting CV health and safety consultants. Also for LA, Atlanta, New Orleans and Canada. Description: “Film and TV. Contract position, no benefits. Manage hygiene, cleaning, disinfection of stages, equipment and workspaces, procurement of resources to conduct such, and identify when need be amended or expanded. And be on call 24/7.” Also, willing to tell Bruce Willis he can’t get within 6 feet of his 22-year-old co-star. So far, 200 have applied.
Like restaurants haven’t enough trouble: A slightly bad apple allegedly stiffed Chelsea’s Jue Lan Club out of $169. They rejected a seemingly bogus credit card, so she yelled, “I’m not paying, the food sucked,” and, carrying a doggy bag, bolted. Says spokesman Bruce Lynn, “Jue Lan called the cops” … Theater District restaurant Scarlatto has jumped to UWS, 646 Amsterdam Ave. … Soho film fest is going virtual. Oct. 15 to 22 … Like the government can’t punch enough holes in Democrats, Sen. Chuck Schumer brought his arm over to the West Side for his yearly Dr. Mike flu shot.
Should Mrs. Hairtint Pelosi follow suit, I’ll suggest where they inject her.
Giving the missus an ‘Edge’
The wife’s birthday. To promote her new book “Edge Play,” Norm Pearlstine, executive editor of the Los Angeles Times, bought wife Jane Boon an ad. Where’d he buy it? The New York Times. Boon, also a data analyst, is now in the process of analyzing info from phone-sex operators — like 40,000-plus phone calls. She learned one out of 11 callers were females over age 80.
Oct. 14 Christie’s is offering a Louis Armstrong trumpet at something called “the Exceptional Sale.” Satchmo blew his horns five years, then gave each away. This one’s inscribed. It’s a Selmer model 19 balanced action medium bore trumpet, Paris, 1948. Brass with worn gold plating. Inscribed “DUKE DONIN/from LOUIS ‘SATCHMO’ ARMSTRONG 7/10/53.” With a modern case. It’s offered together with a cotton handkerchief inscribed in his characteristic green ink, “To Joella/Louis Armstrong/Satchmo.” Estimate: $60,000-$80,000. A horn of plenty. Hope they don’t blow it.
NY hasn’t enough problems? Learn its arcane rules.
1. Wearing slippers after 10 p.m. in public? Illegal. It’s rats on rats. Unfragrant slippers attract creatures.
2. Chucking a ball at someone’s head for fun? No. No! The NYPD has bigger miseries — but this dumb-
ass thing is against the law.
3. Flirting fines you $25. So keep it to yourself or at least inside.
4. In Suffolk, even if people are full of hot air, no releasing more than 25 helium balloons!
5. Ferrets may not be kept in your home — we don’t care what your family looks like.
6. Thumbing your nose? Illegal. Even if at a politician.
7. Riding a mechanical bull — forbidden in Hempstead.
8. No bows and arrows — no archery in Babylon.
9. Do not speed past a sanitation truck. As if you could!
10. Superlarge highway advertising signs — no.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.
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