DEAR DEIDRE: FOUR years ago my wife and I split up. She has since changed her life and job and has someone else but I can’t stop loving her.
Despite trying to move on, both times I tried dating it felt like I was cheating on her. I’m now 43.
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I don’t know how to stop feeling guilty about my broken marriage, how to fit a busy job and seeing our children alongside dating, or how to stop loving her.
Because of the kids I need to have contact with her but seeing them makes me desperately miserable that we are not still a family.
I shut myself indoors and sit in the dark. I know I can’t go on like this but I don’t know how to change my life.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife has someone new, so you must move on too. It can be difficult but for your sake and that of the children, you need to have a future.
Don’t give up on the socialising and dating. It will get easier if you persist. My e-leaflet Widening Your Social Scene has ideas.
When you feel particularly low, contact Calm, the Campaign Against Living Miserably (thecalmzone.net, 0800 585858).
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