My partner broke down after revealing she was sexually abused by family member

My partner broke down after revealing she was sexually abused by family member

DEAR DEIDRE: LAST week my partner and I were watching a film in which one of the female characters was raped.

She suddenly broke down in tears and told me when she was 19, a family member forced himself on her.

She’s now 30, like me, and has never told anyone before.

We have two kids.

I want to be there for her but ever since she told me, I’m finding it hard to talk or connect with her.

Now, all I can see is him with her and it’s making me feel sick and angry. How do I get over this and help her?

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DEIDRE SAYS: She has been bottling this up for years and needs your support. You are experiencing secondary trauma – where hearing about the abuse your partner suffered makes you feel angry and powerless.

You can help her by listening, supporting her and giving her time. My support pack on rape will show her where to find help.

You may need individual or couples counselling. Tavistock Relationships (, 020 7380 1960) will help.

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