My abusive partner controls how much money I spend

My abusive partner controls how much money I spend

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner makes regular promises never to hurt me but is extremely untrusting and controlling. He constantly questions everything I do.

He knows that my past relationship was abusive but is behaving in exactly the same way.


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I am a 28-year-old gay man and my boyfriend is 31.

If I get a notification on my phone, he checks who is messaging me.

He is offensive about my friends and asks me to explain what I have spent my money on.

He winds me up to the point where I become angry and we argue.

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I have asked him so many times to stop doing these things to me and he promises to try, but that only lasts for a day or two.

I am lost and anxious and feel really low.

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DEIDRE SAYS: He may promise not to hurt you but he is a controlling and possessive bully. You don’t deserve any of this.

Please reach out for informed support to find a way forward. Talk to LGBT+ anti-violence charity Galop (galop.org.uk, 0800 999 5428).

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