I want to start having sex now I've had my surgery, but I don't know how

I want to start having sex now I've had my surgery, but I don't know how

DEAR DEIDRE: NOW that I’m living as a man, I want to start having sex but am clueless about how to do it.

I’m a 36-year-old trans man and had surgery to create a penis.


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The problem is, I don’t think it’s big enough to have sex with, and I have no idea how to use it.

I don’t want to start a relationship with anyone before I’ve worked out how to have sex. It would be so embarrassing and humiliating.

To be honest, I wasn’t any good at relationships when I was female.

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I’ve been going on sex-toy websites to try to find something I can practice with, but have no idea what I’m looking for – or what’s any good.

Can you help?

DEIDRE SAYS: I understand your anxiety and frustration.

But remember, sex in a relationship is about the person, not just the mechanics.

Your partner will show and tell you what they like or dislike. And penetration is only part of sex.

Also, no plastic toy substitutes for a warm, breathing human body.

See my support pack on foreplay.

For specific help on trans issues and relationships, you can contact beaumontsociety.org.uk (01582 412 220).

Or there is also gendertrust.org.uk, who help the transgender community.

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