DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been getting closer to a girl I’ve known since we were kids and last night we had sex.
It was amazing at the time but I now feel massively guilty and that I should tell my girlfriend.
I am 23 and my girlfriend is 22. We’ve been together three years. Everything with my girlfriend was fantastic until she thought I was cheating when I wasn’t.
She read a text from a girl at work asking me to call her when I was on my own. She makes birthday cards and I’d asked her to make one for my girlfriend.
My girl went so ballistic I had to tell her about the card, but she still has major trust issues.
A girl I’d been good mates with as a child came home to live with her parents after her relationship ended a few months ago. She is 24. Our parents are best friends so we have met at family dos several times.
My girlfriend can’t stand her and refused to come to her nan’s birthday meal recently. My friend and I had a great time, laughing and joking.
She later confessed she had always had feelings for me.
We met the next day and talked for hours. I told her I felt the same, but nothing could happen because of my girlfriend.
However she’s been texting me, sending sexy pics and trying to coax me into bed. I had resisted until the other night.
One evening when my girlfriend had gone to the cinema with friends, this girl rang and asked if I wanted to go for a drive and we ended up having sex on the back seat.
I told her it should not have happened and cannot again. She promised she would not tell my girlfriend and said I had no reason to do so either. She says it would just cause massive problems.
I feel so guilty, though. I can’t have sex with my girlfriend, partly for fear I might have picked up an STI and could pass it to my girlfriend.
My friend swears there is no chance of that. Do I tell my girlfriend and just face the consequences so we can move on?
SEXUALLY nothing is wrong between a caring couple if they are both enjoying it and no one is harmed – but one person’s fancy can fill the other with horror.
My leaflet Kinky Sex Worries? can help you compromise.
For a copy, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
DEIDRE SAYS: Confessing might ease your guilt initially but wreck your relationship. You hope your girlfriend will be willing to forgive but the chances of that are slim.
You have been a willing party to your friend’s flirting. You could have told her to stop the sexy texts and pics but you chose not to.
It’s time to look a bit deeper at why you are in this dilemma now. Do you really like your friend more than you care to admit and want your relationship to be more? Is your girlfriend so jealous because in fact you are not so keen on her as you once were?
Think honestly which girl you will be happiest with in the long term.
Make a choice and stick to it. If you’re staying with your girlfriend, keep to the boundaries of simple friendship with the other girl.
Either way, get checked for an STI.
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