I am finally happy with a new man but my children believe I have abandoned them

I am finally happy with a new man but my children believe I have abandoned them

DEAR DEIDRE:  I AM finally happy with a new man after being on my own for eight years. But my grown-up children believe I have abandoned them.

My husband died when he was just 50. He was wonderful and I missed him so much. I am 56 now.


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A few months ago the unthinkable happened when I met a widower through friends of friends. I never expected or even dreamed of a new relationship, but it is bliss.

He is 60, kind and loving, and we have made plans for our future together. We’re in a “bubble” now and sometimes stay at my house, sometimes his.

But my son and daughter are being so horrible I feel I am being controlled.

They have both left home and are in their late twenties and I don’t get why they are being like this, not wanting me to be happy. Am I being selfish?

DEIDRE SAYS: It is hard to imagine they would not want you to be happy so you need a round-table talk to discover what exactly their resentment is about.

Is it fears of someone replacing their father, or that they will lose you as well as their dad, or worries about their inheritance?

Ultimately, you must feel free to live your own life and find your own happiness, as I’m sure they expect to. But listening to their objections and talking will hopefully stop the rift widening.

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