I am 34 and girl, 17, wants to date me – I am tempted but don't feel right | The Sun

I am 34 and girl, 17, wants to date me – I am tempted but don't feel right | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: WORKING as a nightclub bouncer you get to meet lots of different people every night but recently there has been one young woman constantly on my mind.

She had been coming into the club a couple of times a week recently and I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

She made it obvious she liked the look of me too and would regularly stay to chat with me.

I’d checked her ID so thought it was fine to have a little flirt.

The club has an age limit of 18 and her ID made her 19 so I didn’t see a problem.

But then another staff member warned me to be careful because they had heard she was under-age.

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When she next came in, I had to ban her so I don’t see her at work any more which I know is for the best.

I am 34 and I’ve discovered that she is only 17. While I’ve told her that she can’t come into the club any more, I’ve said we can still be friends and can talk.

I’ve told her nothing physical can happen between us until she is 18 but her birthday is in five months and I’m worried I won’t be able to resist her until then.

She is training to be a hairdresser and has told me she will give me a cut and head massage at the same time.

I’m desperate to feel her touch and I’m worried that I’ll cave in if I let her give me a massage.

I really don’t know what to do.


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DEIDRE SAYS: The fact you have written in suggests you are not comfortable with this situation and I suspect a big part of that will be your anticipation of other people’s reaction to your relationship with this young woman.

As she is over 16 it wouldn’t be illegal if you had an intimate relationship with her, but that doesn’t mean it would be the right thing to do.

There is nearly 20 years between you and while some age-gap relationships can work, she has only just become an adult and so you do bear a responsibility to do the right thing.

I would strongly advise against seeing her anywhere private where things could get out of hand.

Tell her you like her but you want to do the right thing.

Tell her to get on with her life and you’ll do the same and please don’t do anything you’ll regret.

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