Last week, Kevin Hart gave himself the ultimate lesson in gay culture when he voluntarily sashayed away from hosting the upcoming Oscars after the Oscars people gave him an ultimatum: apologize for his past homophobic tweets or quit that bitch. The Oscar people are now scrambling to find a new host. Or not. Because now the Academy is toying around with the idea of not having a host at all.
First off; Yes Academy. An Oscars without a host will definitely add more viewers to this snoozefest because that’s a terrible idea and we’d all tune in just for shits and giggles. I suggest pre-recording this mess and chopping it down to an hour as a Netflix special because nobody cares who won “Best Lip Quiver in a Documentary about Cheese”. Variety reports that going host-less is just one of many options the Academy is considering because when Kev chose not to lip sync for his life they knew they were fucked.
Kevin Hart’s abrupt departure as Oscars host has left the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences scrambling to find someone to take the gig. As of now, the situation remains fluid as the group’s leadership explores options, including going host-less, individuals familiar with the situation told Variety.
The Academy was blindsided by Hart’s announced departure Thursday night, according to two insiders. The Board of Governors will convene on Tuesday night at a previously-scheduled meeting where the matter will inevitably be discussed.
“They’re freaking out,” said a top comedy agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity. There were no contingency plans in place by the Academy or broadcaster ABC, according to another insider. The show’s producers are back to square one.
Some other ideas that have been floated around are a group monologue (No), and having a bunch of celebrities taking turns hosting “SNL style” (Hell No). And though they’ve leaned on using talk show hosts like Jimmy Kimmel and Ellen Degeneres in the past they’re scared to implement that option because they don’t want to be too edgy. Dawg, edginess is what you really need right now because the Oscars haven’t been interesting since I was a kid back in the 80s. But seriously, they better get it together soon before the February 24th airdate or we’ll be stuck watching three and a half hours of twisted, confused faces and constant side eyes wondering what the hell is going on. Then again, doesn’t that happen every year at the Oscars? Perhaps it’s time to call Anne Hathaway and James Franco again so they can creep us out like they did back in 2011.
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