Cardi B Thinks She's Too Famous For Court

Cardi B Thinks She's Too Famous For Court

Remember when Cardi B turned herself in for allegedly arranging for those two girls to get jumped? That was the last time she was going to take this shit seriously, because when she was supposed to go to court yesterday, she did not show up. And why was Cardi not in attendance? Durh, because she’s way too relevant and busy to be bothered. Delusion, thy name is Cardi B

Page Six is reporting that Belcalis Almanzar pissed off her judge after she was a no-show at court. Queens Criminal Court Judge Sean Dunn gave her lawyer a verbal slapping and let him know that Cardi must show up next time:

“I want you to convey to her that it’s not acceptable that she’s not here today… You should inform her that if she doesn’t show up, that unless circumstances change, it’s very likely that the court will issue a bench warrant for her arrest.”

Cardi B really wants that Bad Bitch title and every Bad Bitch needs to be in jail once… apparently. But don’t worry, her lawyer, Jeff Kern, had a really good excuse for why she wasn’t there:

“As you probably know she is a fairly notable hip-hop artist. My client knew the date but there was a previously scheduled commitment for today and tomorrow.”

Oh, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me. “As you probably know,” Jeff really is banking on the judge bumping Invasion Of Privacy on his way to work, eh? Hey, maybe that 6ix9ine character should have tried this?

Assistant District Attorney Ryan Nicolosi, was not impressed by her work schedule, asking that she be arrested immediately:

“We want to treat this like any other case. We didn’t want to give preference because she is a big artist.”

The judge stuck with the warning and Cardi’s lawyer said the message was “received loud and clear,” but still was outside saying Cardi is just simply too busy being a star:

“You all need to understand this is not about her saying, ‘Screw going to court. I got things to do. I’m important.’ She has managers, she has business people, she has things scheduled. So it’s not like we can just say, ‘Hey you got to come to court on Monday.’”

I’m going to try to use that “I’ve got manager, I’ve got business people, I’ve got things scheduled” bullshit excuse the next time I get called for jury duty. Let’s see how far I get. And when the all-important (in her head) Cardi B finally gets to court, she’ll probably throw a shoe at the judge when she says something he doesn’t like, which will result in him throwing the book at her by throwing her in the slammer, which will lead to her coming out with a new album: Belcaliz Of Vernon C. Bain Correctional.


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