Amanda Abbington considered suicide after Martin Freeman split

Amanda Abbington considered suicide after Martin Freeman split

Amanda Abbington and Jonathan Goodwin discuss their story

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The 49-year-old actress revealed it was the breakdown of her long-term relationship with The Hobbit star, 51, that spurred her into therapy. The couple had catapulted to fame together as the beloved on-screen couple John and Mary Watson in the Sherlock series.

Amanda and Martin first met on the set of Men Only in 2000 and went on to work with each other on multiple projects over the next decade.

The pair also welcomed two children together, Grace, 15, and Joe, 17, before ultimately calling it quits in 2016.

However, news of their split didn’t reach the public until almost half a year later, as Amanda explained to The Sunday Times in 2018: “When we broke up nobody knew, we didn’t tell anybody except for a few key people because they had to know, because of the logistics of hotels and stuff.”

The couple were also still working together on Sherlock throughout the end of their relationship, with Amanda crediting their professionalism as they could still “make a show and be civil to each other”.

Despite these outward appearances, Amanda has recently opened up on how dark this time was for her mentally, revealing that she often found herself having suicidal ideations as though it was the norm.

Explaining on the Full Disclosure podcast, Amanda claimed that her split from Martin encouraged her to get help as she “was a bit of a mess” and “hated myself”.

The actress recalled that at the time her “mantra” was: “You could always kill yourself.”

She emotionally shared: “If you’ve let people down and upset somebody or if you’re not being the best you can or you’re a bad mother, or you’re not stepping up with your acting, you can always kill yourself.

“That was a genuine option for me, quite a few times in my life.”

Amanda explained that in her mind it was simple; she couldn’t “be this bad person” if she was no longer alive.

The actress began seeing a therapist and was determined to “sort myself out”.

Now, seven years later, the actress suddenly realised how far she had come in a candid moment during the everyday school run for her teenage daughter.

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She shared on the podcast: “I’d had a row with Grace because she couldn’t find her uniform and was late for school.

“So, in the end, I had to drive her to school instead of the bus and I was sitting in the car and I was having a go at her and I was getting nothing back from her because she’s a 15-year-old and she’s going through all this stuff.

“And I was sat there, in my head, and I haven’t said this since I started therapy six years ago, ‘you could always kill yourself’.”

At that moment, Amanda suddenly realised: “Oh my God I haven’t thought about that in six years.”

Amanda has now found happiness with her fiance, daredevil and escapologist Jonathan Goodwin. They first connected on Twitter in 2012 as she admired his performance work and her son was reportedly a huge fan of the stuntman too.

While they were both involved in committed relationships at the time, a mutual respect for each other’s work forged into an emotional connection as they each split up with their partners over the years.

In 2021, the couple confirmed their engagement after Jonathan proposed within minutes of meeting Amanda in person for the very first time.

If you are struggling and have suicidal thoughts, know you are not alone and that help is available. Please contact any one of the following. In the UK, you can call the Samaritans free on 116 123 (the number will not appear on your telephone bill) or email [email protected]

In America, The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a network of more than 160 crisis centres that provide a 24-hour-a-day service via a free hotline on 00-1-800-273-8255. Lifeline is a national charity providing all Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13-11-14. Help is ALWAYS available. If you need it, reach out.

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